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How To Avoid Being a Judgmental Vegan

Monday, 19 July 2010, 7:39 | Category : Vegan
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When I first met the man who was going to be my husband and I told him I didn’t eat meat, his response was, “Oh, you’re one of those.” What did he mean by that? He meant that he thought I was one of those angry animal rights activists. The kind that lectures you, judges you and pretty much thinks you’re a bad person for everything that you do wrong and they do right.

Let’s be honest. We do kind of think we’re at least a little superior. We’re compassionate. We live by our ethics. We generally care about more than just ourselves. So why are we considered to be such an annoying group of people? We put ourselves on a bit of a pedestal because of those things I just listed. People can feel our smug superiority in the air. And some of us aren’t shy about expressing our feelings that people who eat meat, wear fur, buy dogs etc. are bad people. Now, obviously a person isn’t bad if they do those things. I have friends who eat meat. Most of us veggies have at some point in our lives lived as leather wearing omnivores. We weren’t bad when we did it. We just hadn’t reached the point in our lives wear we understood what we understand now.

I understand how the angry types feel. Animals are being tortured and killed all around us and it seems like the general public doesn’t give a fig. Of course it’s upsetting. But living the angry life doesn’t help our cause. People tend to want to emulate happy healthy people. Being veg should be wonderful. It should be happy and light and free of guilt. Same with being an environmentalist. If you live your life as a happy veg, you’ll make more people interested in the life choices than if you go around lecturing others with a frown on your face. When animal topics come up, try not to argue with others. Simply present facts and explain why you feel the way you do. Like when fighting with a loved one, stick to the “I” statements. Talk about your personal decisions. How you got to that conclusion. People are more receptive when they don’t feel judged. Judged people close down to the possibility of change. Being a happy activist will make people way more receptive to making small changes to be kinder to animals. After all, it is all about the animals right? Our actions should only do what’s best for them. Being, as my husband would say, “one of those” does not help animals. Being kind and open and honest gets the job done much more effectively.

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  • Donna

    Great points. I have been seeing so many judgemental articles, blog posts, etc. It isn't possible that all of these people have always been vegetarian/vegan/eco-aware. So why be so judgemental of others? And although this is a very “unvegan” saying – “You can catch more bees with honey…”. Now I have to admit that I have had my own moments over the years where I have been less than accepting – usually it is right after I have read about some particularly horrible type of abuse. So I understand how activists – especially it seems new activists- can be less than diplomatic. But if helping our animal friends is really the goal as opposed to proving that we are the ones with the correct lifestyle, then we sould follow Ali's suggestions.

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  • David

    I am a vegan primarily for health reasons so i got on that perspective. Given cruelty to animals and the use of meat requires more energy,etc is not good but to be honest if i had to eat an animal because there was nothing else i would do it in a heartbeat and i would do whatever it took to kill it. That might come off sacrilegious coming from a vegan but it is what it is. If people saw the health benefits to going vegan instead of putting them on a guilt trip on animal cruelty i think more people would switch.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EVWKULHBHC3H4WAI4EMU5HSWAI Meredith

    Love this, Ali. I've learned so much about eating better and protecting the environment, even though I still do eat meat, from friendly vegans vegetarians. I may not be a total convert to the lifestyle, but because of upbeat efforts like yours, my husband and I only eat organic and when possible local meat, eggs from chickens raised by people we know who let them roam free and live happy, and try really hard to think environmentally when we make purchases. Keep up the great effort and attitude and you can win over so many people to making smarter choices, even if they are small ones!

  • http://www.facebook.com/fi123 Fiona Coles

    I mean this nicely, but this article in itself comes across as judgmental to me.

    “We’re compassionate. We live by our ethics. We generally care about more than just ourselves.”

    You make it sound like those who eat meat aren’t compassionate, do not live by their ethics, and only care about themselves. That’s judgemental, if you ask me.

  • http://twitter.com/meliasaurus Amelia

    I assume that when you say “buy a dog” you mean as opposed to adpoting.
    I don’t want to start a argument but I think that someone has to buy dogs even if they might come from puppy mills. My dog is from a pet store and he was very sick when i bought him. I was so worried about him and I took him to a vet who said he could get pneumonia and gave me antibiotics. I hate to say it but he probably would have died if I hadn’t bought him. I didn’t buy him because i wanted a special breed. He has a wonderful personality, very playful and LOVES people. I wouldn’t trade him for any other dog.

  • http://www.chicvegan.com/ Mandi (Chic Vegan)

    Amelia – Dogs from puppy mills are notoriously unhealthy because of the poor conditions they are born into. I’m sure you love your dog and that he is wonderful, and I too would snatch up every puppy mill dog I could to give them a better life. However, the point of adopting and not buying an animal is to not support an industry that treats animals as a “product” and puts them into conditions that would make your poor doggy have pneumonia in the first place. If everyone bought an animal from a puppy mill this would cause this industry to thrive.. just like purchasing meat from a factory farm would cause that industry to thrive. For more info on Puppy Mills check out: http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/puppy_mills/

    I hope I’m not coming off as judgmental because that would be terribly ironic!

  • Bearhugger

    Well, I’ve eaten meat for 30 years, been vegan for less than one and TBH I feel a bit more compassionate than before. It’s just cold logic: when I had meat on my plate and I reframed it as what it really is, imagining the fear and pain that that factory farmed animal (99% of US meat production) went through to get on my plate, deciding that it was all worth my twenty minutes of consumption when other sources of food were available did strike me as sadly lacking in compassion, self-awareness, altruism and responsibility, in retrospect.

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  • Funkypeach12

    I’m sorry but this came off as extremely (backhandedly) judgmental to me. Word of advice- don’t EVER use something like ‘you’re not a bad person, you just haven’t reached the point of your life where you understand what I understand”. People will NOT take well to that. I have no problems with vegans or vegetarians EXCEPT for the judgement. Trust me, it hurts your cause way more than helps it.

    I guess this article was geared towards vegans, but reading it as a (reasonable) meat eater, I felt like I was being preached to. This definitely makes people angry and they will push you and your ideas away. Thats a shame because I do think our society should be moving towards eating less meat (not none) but I think the judgment of vegans and vegetarians just pushes us farther from this goal. I’m sorry if I sound hateful, because i’m not- its just frustrating when vegans do this. Causes more harm than good.

  • Nan Sea Love

    A vegan is attacking me on Facebbok because my 16 year old cat cannot go vegan. i tried and he has hyperthyroidism and kidney failure and would die if i did http://tinyurl.com/3pjv646 i even consulted with a vegan veterinarian and she says not all cats can. It has gotten so i do not even like the term anymore. i prefer to say i eat a plant-based diet. ♥

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